To the One Who Got Away

I still remember the first time we met.


I wish I just went off to dinner with you the first time you asked.

I wish I didn't make that call and

shit, I sure wish we skipped the mind games.



I wish you didn't talk about her that December's Lantern Parade.



I wish you weren't such a dick and that you never came back.

Still, it made me happy. I wish it didn't.


I wish you took that third chance seriously.

I wish I screamed in your face.


I wish you didn't contact me just before you and your present girlfriend, came together.

I wish I didn't wait and I hadn't lost my mind.


I wish you knew how much I thought about you. I still do. I think I always will.

I wish I knew if you ever thought about me too.

This may sound insane, but:

I wish I told you how much I loved you and how much I hated myself for it.



I wish I never loved anyone like this.

I know I'd never love anyone like this.



But most of all, I wish you don't love her just as much as I loved you.



You're everywhere I go, in everything I do.

Hell, I wish I could just drop dead.


I wish I never knew pain like this.



Goddamnit.



I just wish I never knew you.